we arent where we should be
I made a post a couple months back about my man and I. Mostly about him...we are in the same position.. Not much progress on his part in my opinion.
He works at a strip club, I hate it and hate accepting it. His phone rings nearly 50x a day(at least the 3 or 4 hrs we spend together since he works from 7pm-(here's the kicker)4 or 5 or even 8am. I'm tired of the uncertainty of when he gets off. I get insecure about who's calling him..he ignores the calls I've begged him up and down to get a new job and he's told me many times through out the years that he'll get a set schedule, that he understands where I'm coming from and that he has a new job getting squared away...I don't believe him. He Talks a lot, pretty smooth at it but now I see right through it.
I want to move back out of my moms and into another place of my own(lost my home and previous job due to motorcycle accident with my boyfriend in December) I found a new job in healthcare and am expecting a baby in October. I have one 3yr old from previous relationship(the father is MIA)
I just want to have my man do instead of talk. Get his time management right. Respect me as a woman and do life together financially right as it should be. I'm tired of the excuses on him being hours late when we meet, I'm tired of him nodding off like a crack head when we do spend time together and him getting mad at me cuz he's tired...ughh I wanted marriage first before having another baby, he wanted me to be consistent with making love to him before we could move forward. I'm a new Christian, he's a non believer...I chose to cut off sex for many reasons. Mainly because I was feeling like he was using sex as an escape goat to distract me from his bs and that he just wanted to sleep around all the time. He says no that's not the case, I love you, I wanna marry u, blah blah blah...but I caught him talking to a woman a few months back saying I love you to her and also talking to his baby momma at odd hrs talking about he's hungry. His excuses for that is an add I posted online describing me wanting a friend to hang out with, not looking for sex by any means and that I was a single mom, new Christian hoping to marry one day. I never spoke to anyone yet talk to any man, but my bf used my add as a reason to go talk to women.
My guard is up, im unhappy being pregnant with a man whos so for a baby but says we need to work on things before I can have a ring on my finger. No home, no plan...I told him we need to have shit ready and I can't depend on not knowing where we stand. I'm looking at homes I can't afford and 4 months might as well be 2 away from giving birth. This isn't all my bf to be fair, I get upset when he does things I don't appreciate but he argues his way out of everything I don't appreciate now or question so I just shut down. Then he tells me he doesn't understand and that we need counseling. Honestly I don't wanna bother...