Sad and confused
So lately my so and I have had a few issues. I honestly think it's just me causing them but it makes me sad. Last week I was very pushy on looking through his phone bc he I felt like he was hiding it from me. He even took his phone to the bathroom with him.. and he was keeping it turned off when I was around. He pretty much broke up with me bc of this. He told me that he was going to give me space bc I didn't trust him. It wasn't that I didn't trust him I just felt like he was hiding something. We ended up making up and he took me to dinner later that day and everything was fine. We'll then he got paid and blew all of his money and left half of the bills on me. I was very upset bc I want to be able to depend on him also. I want him to have my back and be my support just like I am for him. But he is so irresponsible. I try to tell him how I feel and he tells me that I'm just trying to start an argument. I am not. I just want him to understand me. He tells me that if I want to leave him I just need to do it already. And it's not that I want to leave him I just need him to understand me. I need him to be responsible. I want him to be my best friend someone I can't talk to when I need to. And he fails at this. I can't lie I have thought about how much easier it would be to be single, to just be stress free and just worry about me. But I know I would miss him terribly. Obviously I'm giving off a bad vibe towards him and it's making him think I don't want to be with him. But I don't know how to change my mood. I can't come out of this weird funk. It almost feels depressing. I don't even want to have sex with him right now. I don't want to ruin what we have bc of this. But he seems to be impatiently waiting on me to just cut things off. I don't know it's just me.. or what. I hate this feeling.
Sorry for the long paragraph to whoever wants to read, I just needed to vent.