So about a month or so ago I started having feelings that something wasn't right and started feeling hesitant about a VBAC. Last week it was discovered that I have a large complex ovarian tumor (10cmx6cmx6cm) that has to be removed and causes me some significant pain and uncomfortable symptoms. It's got some malignant signs. The diagnosing OB told me that plan would be a RCS with a debulking immediately following that would remove the tumor ovary lymph nodes and whatever else needed to be removed/biopsied. I met with a high risk OB that measured the baby at 4lbs 12oz at 33wks (confirming that this little one is much smaller then my previous 2 who were almost 9 and 10 lbs) the OB mentioned that she knew I had wanted a VBAC and said I could still try. I declined. Friday I met with the oncologist who said he felt really positive about my case and thought the tumor was probably benign, but we would find out for sure when it's removed. He essentially gave me 3 options. 1. RCS followed immediately by the debulking (in which he will remove my ovary, both Fallopian tubes and appendix), but a risk is that the uterus is still very vascural and there may be bleeding issues. 2. Deliver by RCS and then do the debulking 8 weeks later when there is less blood flow to the uterus. 3. He offered to let me have my VBA2C followed 8 weeks later by the debulking surgery. I took option 1. I told him that I've just had this feeling for awhile that I would need the RCS and that I need the tumor taken care of. He said he trusts that it's my intuition and that there is a reason for it. 

He wants to deliver her early at 37 weeks, but after talking a bit about my concerns that my increased periods of pain is my ovary starting to twist, he said that they could take her at 36weeks if the OB agreed and gave me a rough estimate of the dates to deliver her at 36 weeks. I was already given the steroid shots in case of an emergency. 

So now my mind has been working overtime about my decisions. I want what's best for baby girl...and I feel like that is coming a bit early. I can't shake that it's not a coincidence that she's smaller then my other kids. As much as I wanted a VBAC...I hate to not take advantage of these amazingly supportive doctors, but I don't know if I'm just being overly paranoid or not. I'm a firm believer in things happening for a reason and if I happen to go into labor early, then I'm tempted to let it progress. 

What do you all think? I don't want to lose my last chance at a natural birth...but I started having these feelings well before I was even diagnosed and I just felt like something wasn't quite right. I'm terrified of a rupture or torsion, but I don't want to put the baby at more risk being delivered early. What would you do?