So I finally stopped bleeding yesterday and I felt a small sense of joy for the first time since losing my baby, looking forward to starting again. My husband and I haven't had sex since the bleeding started nearly three weeks ago, so I prepared a romantic evening with wine, candles and a nice dinner, I put on some sexy underwear under my silk dressing gown and told him he had to wait to find out what was underneath so he would go wild. Just as were about to sit down for dinner I get a phone call from my mum to say there's paramedics at my brothers house, his girlfriend isn't breathing properly. She's had shingles all week and we've been talking constantly as I'm a pharmacist so can answer health related questions. She's also been really worried about us as she lost her baby a couple of years ago so has been such a rock for me getting through it. Two minutes later mum rings back and she's died. My brother is now a single parent, my nephew has no mother and I just can't stop crying again. I couldn't go help as we'd been drinking and it's a two hour drive, so today I've got to go tell my grandad and look after him. They say bad things come in threes but I can't bare the thought of any more devastation in my family, we only had our miscarriage last Saturday and I'd had to be rushed to hospital as I suddenly started bleeding so heavily, which was hard on all of my family as they were so excited for us. My husband and I were finally starting to heal, she was so kind to us this past year too. She was the only one to send us a card after we lost the baby and told us all of the things she's already bought would be kept safe for when it happens because she knew it would. For our wedding present she bought us tickets to see blue man group which were way too much but she told us she just wanted it to be special. I just can't believe she's gone and I wish I'd done more to help. All week she's been asking how I was coping and I was so self absorbed I just spoke about me. I don't know what to do with myself.