Struggling today

I just need to vent. 
I'm pregnant. When I told him he pushed for an abortion and I couldn't do it. So he left and said he wants nothing to do with the baby. 
He has another child. She's about 3 I think. He's always been pretty short when it comes to that topic, and he didn't even tell me when we first got together, I found out from someone else. For that and other reasons, I think he may still be with the mother of the child. (For those thinking i disregarded that and slept with him anyways, I asked him a few seperate times while we were together and he told me no) 
Anyways the reason I'm having a hard time today is because I know he's probably out with his family and they're probably celebrating him on being such a good dad, meanwhile I've spent the last few weeks in mental and emotional anguish dealing with all of this and dealing with everyone else's emotions and he's most likely going about his day with no regard that it's happened. I will never understand how you can want one child and not want the other. I will never understand that nor will I ever understand him and I'm truly trying not to be angry, but I can't help but hope this bothers the hell out of him, I hope he knows his name is being spread as dead beat dad, I hope he thinks of our child everyday. My heart is breaking not for me, but for my baby. I dread the day when I have to have that conversation with my baby and tell them that he/she has a sister that their dad is actively raising.