Hello ladies,

First let me say that for all the beautiful women who prayed and cried with us last year. I am grateful for you. I would find myself months after that awful day in November going back to my post about losing our son time and time again. I would read all the kind words you all had shared that day and it would give me comfort. Comfort to know I wasn't alone and that there was a community of strangers that actually genuinely cared and shared in the pain. It even felt like some of you mourned along with me and for all of that I am grateful for this community.

Found out sunday, surprise! We CAN get preggo on our own and it HAS happened!! WithOUT clomid and withOUT an <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IUI</a>. A pure miracle!

Now...if only I wasn't so scared.

See I've been here before...happy, excited, thinking of baby names and the color I want to paint the nursery... all while trying to keep my breakfast down and get to the bathroom fast enough to enjoy the morning sickness.

My first, a girl...Eloise..we made it to 23 weeks.

Second ended at 8 weeks.

Third was a boy, George ...we made it to one Makena Shot and 16w+2.

I lost them.

I lost hope. I stopped <a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.glow.android">tracking ovulation</a>. And gave up.

And here we are...surprise. ..I'm pregnant again. Hey at least we can GET preggo on our own right?!?

But now....comes the hard part. I'm only 6w and a couple days.

And I cant. Stop. My. Brain.

I'm terrified.

My doctors have a plan.

A cerclage at 13 weeks . Sew up my cervix and pray for the best.

I guess I am just looking for any ladies who may have been/are in a similar situation as I am. Any words you all may have I greatly appreciate it.

Thanks for reading ladies and best of luck to you all during your pregnancy journeys.