Am I wrong.?! SMH

Question

Okay so I'm 17 n I recently had a baby, I take care of him good n done everything right for my baby. Now I went out a couple days ago with a friend n I took my baby with me, he was fine in his car seat sound asleep while me n my friend were just talking catching up that's all. I came home at 2am I get it its late but we were just outside my house parked up just talking that's all n I come in and my mom starts yelling n talking so much shit n saying I'm a bad mother n that she's going to report me to take my baby away from me. I've never cried of hurt so much in my life just the thought of losing my baby I feel like dieing like why would my own mom do this to me.?! I feel like she's just lonely she's had 6 kids n no man for years all she has is me n now this baby. Its not like I left the baby alone in my room while I went out like alot of Girls do smh. Now my friend asked if I can sleep over her house n I see nothing wrong with that, when I go over we just talk n I have my baby in my arms. What's the problem.? Its not like we're going to do anything crazy no we just talk, watch TV n chill that's all, my babys fine I take care of him good. I told my mom n she started talking shit again like I shouldn't be taking my baby out like that n stuff, I've only gone out twice with him, we'll at all I haven't been out my Whole pregnancy either. It hurts and its fucked up my mom wants to take my baby away from me n take me to court💔😢 they say your an adult n you make your own choices once you have a baby, is that true.? I want to move out too, do I have the right to do that and be on my own.? Help😔

Answer

Honestly...your mom may be acting out of fear. 17 is so young to be a parent and when I look back to me being 17 I definitely made choices I should not have and did not see the full picture. It sounds like you're doing a good job but you need your mom and her support more than I think you are aware of. So as far as moving out, is that what is best for your child or just you? Financially caring for a child is incredibly difficult even for people in their 20s, 30s, ect. Let alone 17, and I'm assuming just out of high school. Any job you get will not support you, your child, a home, food, clothes, childcare, ect. That night you went out, did she know how late you had planned on being out? If not her reaction may have been just being scared of what happened to you two, maybe not handled in the best way but with good intentions. I would urge you to sit down with your mom and talk it out before going on the defense and attempting to leave the help that I'm sure she's providing you may be taking for granted right now. (I.E not paying rent, bills, for food, childcare) things like that. You're going to need your mom more than you know in upcoming years, I'd give anything to have my mom and her help (she died when I was 10) and I would not let one argument ruin it. And a total side note, people raise children differently. I personally wanted my son in his bed every night at an appropriate bed time, I felt it offered a schedule and security. If I wanted to catch up with friends I'd have them over to our house. Now I have friends who were totally opposite and are still good parents but I bring that up because your guys' parenting style may be different and that is something that could be talked out.

Answer

I think your mom overreacted by threatening to get your baby taken away, but it sounds like you have a lot of growing up you need to do. The minute you decided to keep that baby you should've been ready to give up sleep overs and staying out until 2 am.  There's no excuse to have a newborn or any child out that late, and you have responsibilities now. I can see from both your and your mother's pov. She doesn't seem lonely, she seems like she wants you to step up and act like a mom. Being a mom isn't just changing diapers and making sure baby is fed, it's being prepared to give up everything for that little one with no notice. You should be able to have some girl time as well, being a mother is exhausting, but it doesn't need to be multiple times a week. That baby is should be your main priority

Answer

You definitely have the right to move out girl!

Answer

Just cause you had a baby doesn't make you an adult. You shouldn't be out til 2am even with your baby. It's not about you anymore. If you want to be treated like an adult, start showing responsibility and making your baby #1 priority.

Answer

You kno wat I been in ur shoes im 19 and I had my baby girl at 16 me and my mom fought while I was pregnant I moved out as soon as I finished school I was 18 tho but I did run away after having my baby. My mom called cps on me a few times made me take drug test and all type of stuff but i still have my baby girl and now that i moved out we get along more. I even let her get my baby for a week or two. Over the age of 16 with a baby is considered an adult and yes you can move out nothing she can do about it.

Answer

I will tell you this. Now I'm not perfect but I had my first born at 17. I was young as well. But I stepped up and gave up everything when it came to my baby.  He is now almost 8 and he barely leaves my side. His father and I were married for 6 years and it ended so he goes to see him. But my point is, my baby had a bedtime. And he needed to be in bed and I refused to leave his side. They need comfort of home and the stability of a schedule. Trust me, it helps in the long run. I moved out when he was 10 months and we got our own place but I'll be the first person to tell you that it's hard as hell. I was still a baby when I had my baby. But I graduated, I went to a small college and got a certification for subbing and I got my own car. (all after having him) 
Living with my ex husband parents helped us financially and mentally and it really made a difference. Coming from a mothers stand point, I'm sure your mother is just hoping and wishing for the best for you baby. And at your age it's easy not to see that because I didn't. I had friends over but they knew to respect the fact that I had to work around my son. I never went off because I knew he needed to be in bed and it was easier for me to rest as well at home. And who wants to keep bouncing their baby back and forth? I know it's tough. I get it. But sweetie it gets easier. If you lose friends because your busy being a great mommy than so be it. I did but I survived.  Just give your mother a chance and try to see where she is coming from.  At least until you know you are ready to do it 100% on your own. Honestly, I'm almost 26 and I still sometimes need my mom.  I wish the best for you and your baby!

Answer

You can move out. Do whatever you feel is best for you and your baby.

Am I wrong.?! SMH

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