Im not fat and I know this. But when I look at my self all I see is fat. My whole life I was told being fat is being ugly(my mom telling me this). I have been skinny my whole life till I got pregnant and I had the baby. Obviously I had baby fat, a year later I was back to my normal weight. I am now under the weight I was before I got pregnant. My husbands brother and his wife are all into fitness. They called me fat and said I looked like pig and so much more. Pulse they got married on my wedding out of spite because my husband was defending me. Well let's just say steroids make you rude and mean and selfish. We don't talk anymore because of that. I can't get what they said out of my head. I live everyday hearing them and my own mom in my head calling me fat and ugly. My husband thinks I am the most beautiful women in the world and i believe him. I just don't see it my self. Sometimes I feel like just working out isnt enough. Sometimes I feel like if maybe I didn't eat I'd feel skinny or if I threw up... I feel like I need to say this to someone but I don't know who... I'm just sad.