I just want to cry and cry. I need strength and patience but I'm so tired of being put down and shoved to the side. My husband and I have had such a rough year and a half while having such blessings at the same time. Our home got auctioned off March 2015 because we were behind on our mortgage. Which wasn't even that far behind but the bank was greedy and heartless and wouldn't work with us. It all happened so quickly. So while that was going on in may 2015 we decided to get married so we had a very small and humble wedding in my moms backyard that her and her friends and my sister threw together for us. It was beautiful. But due to the fact that we live in such a small town with little employment opportunities we were still struggling with money. All we could do was let Gods spirit lead us and put our hope and trust in Jesus. We had an eviction date of September 2015 and no were to go no money and no one to help. My family is pretty poor so they helped were they could but had issues of their own. And for housing and stuff we were too poor to help but not poor enough? It is messed up how the "system" really works. So when the movers came with the police to throw us and our 3 kids out of the house our neighbor took us in. Which I am beyond greatful for. Our 3 boys share a small bedroom 17 15 and 8. And my hubby and I sleep in the basement in a half finished room. It has some drywall up but open insulation above our heads. We have been trying since September to get help but no one will help us. Again too poor to help but not in an emergency situation for housing (we weren't living in our car) so we were doing what we could for work but it was all small under the table stuff and in January I was supposed to start a pca job on top of my small cleaning job plus pick up another cleaning job. Until January 7th when I had morning sickness for the first time and I was late. OK so I'm pregnant we can deal with this. I can still work. Right? Nope my "morning sickness" was unrelenting. For the next 2 1/2 months I threw up all day and night over and over again. I lost about 20lbs bringing me from 107 to 85lbs. I was in bed all day every day not able to do anything for my family. I lost my cleaning job and the chance for the pca work and extra cleaning hrs. So my hubby was trying to take care of me our kids and find work. Oh did I mentioned our neighbor smokes cigarettes inside during the winter? We don't smoke and smoke doesn't always rise. So it would come down into our room. That was great. So April comes around and my sickness is finally mostly over And I can eat again then may and our first anniversary and then something wonder ful happens. My husband finds a great job. Thank you Jesus. 40hrs a week not under the table so we can file for taxes next year so things are looking up. We are getting the car worked on and doing things that needed to be done. OK here's our issue now. We live in small town. Because our boys go to three different schools we have very limited options for where we can get a place. Everything available are 1 or 2 bedrooms. We have 3 kids with another one coming! They have need shoved into a small bedroom for a year now. We need more space. There was a 5 bedroom avalible that we could afford but I just got word back that we didn't get it. Someone else did. I am so disappointed and hurt to keep being rejected. We are OK people. We are not perfect. We don't smoke or do drugs and hardly drink. We don't scream and swear and yell. Our kids are good kids. Not perfect they get loud at time but they are boys. We have never had issues with the police. How is it that we see ( and not trying to judge others) other families in our town that do drugs and drink heavy get into fist fights have cops called lose kids to dcf and other horrible things why do they get help from housing and other programs with no problems? We are not looking for a handout we are looking for a hand up. We fell on hard times and are just trying to get back on our feet without having to rely on public assistance forever. It's so frustrating? I don't want baby in a basement with open insulation and slight moldiness. I am going to do what I can to prepare for the idea of having to bring baby here but I didn't want that. I am due August 31st so we still have some time to find something but time is running out quickly. If you read all of this thank you and if you believe in our Lord and King please say a prayer for all families that are struggling with something like this. It has been such a hard year and while we did not plan on having a baby right now for some reason the Lord decided otherwise for us. Because we were using protection. It just happened. And we are so great full for it. I just hope things will all fall into place soon. Because baby Justice needs a better home than a basement to start his life out in. Thank you for your time and God bless you! Gods will be done and let his Kingdom come.

Amen.