I had been taking paxil before this pregnancy and stopped a month or so before trying to conceive. This is how I did with my first pregnancy and I was MISERABLE the whole time.

I considered taking a different med this time to take the edge off because I have bad ocd and compulsive thoughts and it drives everyone around me including myself absolutely crazy. But I feel like this is the home stretch and I have max 10 weeks left and I should make it work.

I feel so stupid for letting my mind steal happiness and peace away from me. Anxiety sucks because you can tell you're being irrational but you cannot stop the compulsive thoughts.

I'm sitting here crying at my desk because I am second guessing whether I dropped my son off at daycare, even though I literally walked him inside and went up the stairs put his bag in his cubby and handed him to the sitter. My mind is screaming doubt and I'm second guessing whether it even happened at all, which piled on top of all the other freaking hormones coursing through my body is making me just want to crawl in bed and sleep.

Not really sure why I'm writing this because it's something that's only relevant if you have first hand experience. Just needed to vent.