I just want out..

I want out. I want to undo it. I don't want this baby anymore. The father is A piece of shit, it's all coming unraveled. I tried to hold it together, but it's getting so damn heavy to carry this with me and try to ignore my gut about him. The girl I had suspicions of him cheating with sent me very detailed messages of what happened and with who. How can that be a lie? A vague oh he slept with me yeah that's easy to throw out there but details? Not so much. everything is so contradicting and so hard to process. I'm strongly considering adoption, I don't know if I could love a baby the way it needs to be loved with so much resentment for the situation I've put myself in by keeping it. But this situation, is damn near unbearable. I've always lead a positive life. I've come so far in my career so quickly. I have faith. I've never been on legit bad terms with anyone, I'm not a bad person, even when I'm angry I hold my tongue and keep things matter of fact. What did I do to deserve this? How can so much destruction be handed to me for seemingly no reason? I've had nothing but bad things happen to me the last year and a half from being raped to being so depressed I was suicidal to finding out I was pregnant with this white trash low life's baby which was concieved a night I was so drunk I was unconscious. I FEEL like the shitty person I'm being treated like, but I know I'm not that person. I just need help. Some kind of reassurement that it gets better.. Something to help me stay strong and knowing what to believe.