I just realized my ex technically sexually assaulted me

I just feel so used and empty. He tried to have sex with me while I was sleeping. I think this might be the reason why I feel sick whenever I think of myself with a man. He'd also guilt trip me whenever I didn't want to have sex. He'd have meltdowns that would last hours about how ugly and disgusting he must be and that must be the reason I don't want him, even though it was simply because I didn't feel well at the time. I'd have to spend hours complimenting him so he'd calm down. I just feel so empty and disgusting and stupid. Stupid that I let him get to me, stupid that I didn't stop things sooner, stupid that I let him change the way I see things now at only 17 years old.