Depression

Depression doesn't always feel like sadness. Its not a picture of a girl crying in the rain or curled up on their lovers chest. Its not some beautiful thing. It's laying awake at night unable to sleep, no matter how tired you are. It's staring at an empty wall or a blank screen for hours on end. It's thinking about nothing and everything all at once. It's feeling guilty for being human. It's feeling like everything you do is either wrong or just not good enough. Its going days without eating because you just can't find the will-power to move. It's feeling lost, hopeless, angry, alone, afraid, empty, tired, and sometime the worst feeling of all... Nothing. The worst thing about depression is not feeling anything. When the one person you love tries to talk to you, love on you, take care of you, or just be there for you... You can feel yourself feeling nothing. When you are holding your newborn baby and you look at that precious face, but still feel nothing... It's scary. It's beyond scary, it's terrifying. I would rather feel angry or sad than to feel nothing at all. It can hit you at any time. You could be happy, laughing, out with your friends, and all of a sudden get that dreadful feeling of empty nothingness. It comes and goes, and sometimes all you can do is wait for it to pass. Could be hours. Could be days. Could be weeks or months. Sometimes it's hard to find a reason to hold on and fight through it.