Not feeling it

It`s Me
Sighhh.. I hope I'm not a bad mom for feeling like this... But I lost a set of twins in October, then we tried to heal by getting pregnant again I'm 22wks now and I'm nowhere near happy, I'm at a point were I don't even feel like I want to be a mom! Why everything just went down hill I no longer have a job, looking for one daily, my bills are on my ass, I have other kids starting school in a month, I don't have funds help nor support it feels like I'm going crazy and just want to teally run away!