The worst part about miscarriage is that there's nothing tangible about it. You have nothing to remember your baby by. No one else remembers it, and no one understands why you can go from being perfectly happy one second and in the next you're literally balled up on the ground because your heart is being ripped from your chest, again. Because even though no one else misses your baby, you miss your baby. And there's nothing you can squeeze to remember it by and there's no one you can talk to about how bad it hurts. You just cry until you're numb, then you wait for that pain to return and you wonder if it's always going to be like this, or if it ever gets better.

It's been several years since I miscarried, and still, there are nights where I can barely breathe, where I can hardly even get the tears out because my body physically hurts. I don't know how to talk to anyone about it, because a part of me feels like I should just be "over it." I'm not trying to seek attention, I just need people to know that some days I'm not okay, but I will be.