Depressed.!!

This is my second pregnancy. I have a 4 month old baby. So just when I was starting to feel like me again and almost at my pre pregnancy weight, I get pregnant. Im happy and all but im just so self conscious 😔. Like everywhere I see a mirror I have to look at my body, I see my self fat really fat. I'm 144 and 5'3, everyone says I dont look fat but I just feel so big. Idk what to do. I hate the fact that I have to gain weight, I was this same way with my first. I would just hate to go to the doctor and see how much I had put on. I get so depressed knowing that im going to have to go through it again. I know some of you will say that I should of protected my self by birth control. But my husband wanted another baby, I just wanted him to be happy. Don't get my wrong I'm blessed to be able to carry a baby but I dont think I was meant for this. 😔😞🙁