When the one isn't the one

Question

I want to start by saying I'm 24.  My ex and I broke up almost a month ago now, and I am still really stuggling with it. We talked about living together, marriage, kids, everything. I found out he's been shopping for engagement rings a couple of months ago. We had plans to move into fogether... Everything was really moving and I was so happy. Then we got into a really silly argument about a month before we broke up, and suddenly things changed. I didn't want to believe it. I wanted to think we were stronger than that, but apparently not. And it was silly, so silly that I don't even remember what it was about. Just we were out drinking at a party. And suddenly after 2 weeks of weirdness he said he didn't want those things anymore. Not just not with me, but not at all. And he felt like he was leading me on (after 2 years). One day he's telling me I'm going to be his wife.... And two weeks later he never wants to get married or have kids.

And when I take a step back.... There were so many reasons it wouldn't have worked. I would have been making serious career sacrifices to move (we lived 2 hours away). But I loved him and wanted a future with him so badly. Everytime I feel like I'm moving forward and happy on my own... I feel like I backslide back into wallowing and crying in bed all day. Is it normal? How do you get over the one you thought was the one?

Answer

At least you didn't get married it'll be ok. I was with my ex for almost 5 years. I live with him and his mother right out of high school. Then we got our own place and things changed. Before it was I want to marry you, have kids, get your name tattooed on me. To one day coming home saying we needed to talk and he said he couldn't tell me cause he didn't want to hurt me so he text me. He said he had fallen out of love with me and all that. The next day he didn't come home to get his stuff or anything I went to his moms he was on the phone with his co worker the one who he claimed was a friend. She was also his cousins ex gf. They got name tattoos, had a baby, and got married. They got the tattoos with in a month of being together and got pregnant 3 months later. Almost 4 years later he regrets it. I'm married have two beautiful children and the best husband. Lol no "ragrets" 😂😂😂😂 ya know what I'm saying lol

Answer

As soon as you find 'the one' you'll forget about the one you thought it could be. If he loses all his future wants from a 'silly argument', then think about how he'd be when things got really hard.

Answer

You dodged a bullet sweety... He was the best thing you never had. Find yourself, enjoy ehat you love to do until love finds you again.

Answer

My first love was my best friend of 8 years. We dated for 4. We talked about marriage and how we thought we were each others soul mates and having kids someday and everything. Even moved down to AZ for him. But then he changed and when I moved back he made less and less effort to communicate with me and didn't seem into it at all and said he no longer had "emotions behind his feelings for me".

I miss him often and I'll always love and care about him but I know I deserve better and it just wasn't meant to be. Sometimes love isn't enough. But all i can tell you to do is cry as much as you need to. Get angry if thats what it takes and smash things. Bottling up your emotions doesn't help at all. You just need to let them take you and let them out. Time will heal all wounds, slowly but surely. You can love and miss someone but that doesn't mean you have to be with them. ☺️ I hope it gets better for you lovely. I met someone now and he knows im still letting emotions go and he's fine with that, he was in a similar situation and understands it's not just something that you snap your fingers and it goes away. Best of luck ❣

When the one isn't the one

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