Mrs. Wtf should I do lol :)

(Excuse the profanity, R18 lol) So ladies, I have had this issue since I was 17 years old. I'm almost 22 now and I've always been a bit hesitant to receive head. Crazy thing is, that's all I think about when having alone time 😏 and I always search for female friendly categories when I watch porn e.g vaginal massages, eating p***y, so on and so forth 😁 BUT I have never found the guts to ask my partner of 4.5 years or even any of my exs to give me head??? I think that maybe my vagina looks and/or may feel weird or even smell weird (it never has) but that's just how I think so I avoid anything to do with it. And he never even offers or asks anyway! Ever?? Is this freaking damn normal????? And what the helllll do I do??? 😫😫😫