So.... Here's what happened

Recently, my boyfriend and I have been having some issues. Mostly revolving around me. I have issues with depression- which have gotten much better over the years thankfully. But every now and then I'll have a really dark point, which I take it out on him or I become selfish to get what I want. I do it because I want to be happy, I didn't about care how he felt. I wish I had realized what I was doing when the moment happened. I do love him, very much. I want him to be happy. After realizing what I was doing I feel really guilty, I was just too involved with making myself happy I didn't realize I was treating him like crap. But I can't really control myself when I'm like this...