Feel so tearful :(

Rachael
My husband and I are ttc baby #1 (his first my 4th) I know I can have kids obviously with having 3 already from a previous partner.... Anyway. We both want out 4th (we have a household of 5 people n don't do odd numbers 😝😝) he's 33 I am 25. I used to be on depo provera had my last shot August 7th 2015 due to return on 31st October 2015 but didn't so it's been a year almost since my last shot was given.... And it's been 9 months almost 10 of ttc since October. We've had 2 false positive tests (at least 1 was we r unsure of the other was chemical or not) we really thought this was our month. I had all the signs there sore boobs nausea dizziness sleepy etc about 2 weeks before af  as due (normally only get cramps n sore boobs about 5 days before)... People noticed my breasts had grown and that I was stupidly tired. Thursday came and all day I had no af but I was patient I didn't test because I wanted to make sure we got to Friday before I did.... Went out Thursday on a date night felt the need to pee and when I wiped boom there she was af arrived at 10pm. We'd just spent 10.00 on a test Too so we were gutted. I feel like it's never gonna happen for us, my previous pregnancies have happened within 2 months this time it's been almost 10 n nothing ok... I don't go the gym I don't jog or nothing... I walk 4 miles a day, I clean the house top to bottom and run round after the kids all day literally, my husband walks around 2 miles a day... We both smoke granted (I quit during pregnancies tho) I smoke less than he does around 10-13 a day. He smokes about 15/20 a day... Neither of us drink alcohol or do drugs according to ovia app at his age is when he is most fertile... Neither of us are over weight we r both within our bmi... I don't drink things like energy drinks or coffee...
Just feels like everything is against us n I feel obsessed pregnant women everywhere babies born all the time n it isn't us. 😔 we have spontaneous sex we don't plan it or think about conceiving during or before it. (Only time it's a little more planned is around ovulation) but it feels like it's never gonna happen I know other women have taken years n years but what I am saying is FOR me it's the longest it's taken me to Concieve n I feel bollocks :(