Annoyed with life

Just need to vent. I don't even know where to start😩 okay I'm a 17 year old girl who's been dating a wonderful guy for a year & 2 months. I found out I was pregnant around the middle of February, we planned on keeping it. My mom had other plans, she manipulated me into getting an abortion, told me everything would be  better after I got the procedure. The two weeks before the procedure I debated on getting it but I felt alone so I eventually just went through with it. Ever since the day I got the abortion (March 19th) my life has been hell😩 literally! Not even two weeks later I got into a fight pepper sprayed a girl & ended up getting expelled from school, her mom pressed charges so now I have an open court case, I can't find a job, severe depression, I think about death a lot, me & my boyfriend haven't been the same, etc😭 I've prayed & prayed for things to get better, I've prayed for forgiveness but it only gets worse😫 I don't know what else to do I'm so overwhelmed at this point. I'm dying for happiness. I honestly feel like God is punishing me for not being strong enough to stick up for my baby😓

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