Should I seek help
Back story: when I was thirteen my mum had a mental breakdown. She'd had them a few times before I was born and was last told she was schizophrenic. That was years ago, don't know if that's still true or not. But anyway. I was moved to my older sisters and lived there for a few years, it was horrible. I never was asked how I was after all that. I never got help, as a 13 year old I didn't think I need it because no one made a big deal out of it.
I spent many nights crying for about a year.
Fast word three years after that I was kicked out of my sisters. For stupid reason, won't go into detail but it was because I was doing homework etc.
I was moved back into my mums care who I hadn't seen in years. For a little while it was strange and was hard to get used to. Fast ward about a year here and I start thinking wow I could get schizophrenia. This was terrifying to me.
It was in a health class last year that I decided to do an assignment on schizophrenia that's when it all started. A couple of days after starting it I learnt a lot of things that just didn't sit well still don't. I was up one night couldn't sleep and couldn't stop researching it. Not for my assignment but out of curiosity. I think started to freak out, crying uncontrollably, shaking etc. half of myself was saying this is stupid you won't go crazy, while the other half was saying you will go crazy you'll be just like her.
This lasted about an hour, and happened at least 5 more times over a couple of months. Skip to this year and it's happened about twice.
I don't know what to do and what to even say if I saw a professional about this. Do I even have a real problem or am I so worried about becoming insane that I just think there's something wrong with me.
It's an internal argument that I can't settle in myself. What do you think
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