No longer attracted to my husband
My husband of 1yr has lost a lot of weight. He is 6' and a year ago weighted 210lbs, he is now down to 170lbs. His chest looks concaved. He has also started to go bald since we got married and at an alarming rate. We do have a lot in common, similar interests, which is why I love him. But there just isn't any sexual chemistry. When I started dating him he wasn't what I was typically attracted to. He is blonde with blue eyes and every guy I have ever been with is dark haired, dark eyes. I thought this may be a good thing for me considering the lack of luck with previous relationships. But now that the new love excitement had worn off I just don't feel the chemistry. We have had sex maybe twice in the past 3 months and when we do I find my brain thinking of other things. I don't know what to do. I feel so awful and shallow but I can't help what I'm feeling. We only dated 1 1/2 years before tying the knot and now I'm feeling like we rushed into this. Anyone have any advice?
In response to your comments,
Trust me I know how shallow these feelings are and I feel awful about it. I don't consider myself a shallow person which I why when I started having these feelings I felt the need to ask other women for their wisdom and advice. Notice I asked specifically for advice not your opinions of my feelings. I wanted advice as to how to fix these feelings. I would not have made this post if I weren't struggling daily with putting these feelings aside trying to make the next day better. I expected some hateful words as this is what one risks when making a public post and asking the advice of others. To those of you who gave me advice about my situation, thank you. It's good to know there are still kind people willing to help a fellow human being in this world. Those of you to chose to judge me and the way I feel, I will pray that God grants you a more tender sympathetic heart.
Now then, some questions you guys asked,
My husband was never fat. He has always been fit and gone to the gym. The weight he had was muscle. He quit going to the gym about 9mo ago and it's like he has shriveled up. I have never seen him this thin. And I've noticed his chest look concave because it looks like his sternum sits quite far back in his chest. But he does have horrible posture as well, that has always been a problem for him. But I had never noticed his chest being built like that until his pecs disappeared.
I think the weight loss is due to the type of work he has started doing. He went from a job indoors to welding out in the summer heat (against my advice to him) and I'm sure he's just sweating all his weight away. To remedy this situation I have suggested that he start back to college and just work part time since I now have a good job.
I have asked him to go to the doctor to be check on for several things including sleep apnea, both his father and grandfather have it and I believe it could be responsible for both the weight loss and the hair loss. He tells me flatly that he will not go to the doctor because he doesn't want to have dr bills. Now, we have plenty of money to go to the doctor he's just tight fisted when it comes to things he doesn't want, like a doctors visit. But he's quick to spend a copays worth of money on nicotine.
I didn't marry my husband for his looks. I married him because we have the same interests and enjoy spending time together. I still enjoy talking to him and spending time with him. And I do love him. I never said I didn't. But I have now realized the things about him I was attracted to physically have gone. And I find myself struggling with being with him intimately.
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