Husband spending time w baby?

Question

So we are 3 months in and my husband hasn't spent more than 1 hour alone with our baby. He says its bc I am EBF even though I have frozen milk saved up that baby can drink. Also that when they are babies they are only meant to be with mom. I am really struggling as I have not had any alone time since having our baby and I can't plan anything that doesn't involve taking her with me - even therapy that I'm trying to get bc I'm starting to feel depressed, not bc of this, having a lot of family issues w my mother. Any other moms going through the same? Are you the only one that spends time with your baby?

Answer

Attached is a pic where I found him rocking the bottle at a pub, with a friend, while I was off teaching a photo workshop. My husband is with her all the time. All the time. He constantly suggests I take a nap or bath or go out to grab a tea, etc. He gets up part of the night, he bathes her, he wears her in our carrier. He knows how to give a bottle, do all the diapers (including cloth), and does cooking and laundry too. He's leading the way with tummy time and watching for new milestones. I can go out for as long as I leave milk, and he loves it. You need time to feel human; he needs time to bond with her. I wonder if he just feels unable, our society is not actually very kind to dad's, stereotyping them as helpless, dumb, and useless. Ever seen the onesie "you got this dad!" and then has arrows to all the holes and says arm, leg, head, etc. Like, wtf? A man can't figure out a onesie? Its not funny to me. I understand some dads are better/best with kids who talk and walk and play, but it's no excuse to skip having a young baby.

Answer

No.  This week I'm going out for 3 evenings - twice to the cinema and once to my book group. I tell you this because it can be done. My husband calls it boys' club! It's actually a little more than I want to go out but I do think it's important to share the load and for you to have alone time/grown-up time. Ironically I went to see Bad Moms last night! I EBF and my husband gives our LO pumped milk when I'm out. I also try and go to the gym or yoga once a day which takes me out for an hour or two. For that I will just feed Bear before I go. My husband can still go out freely (as before) and although it takes more planning for me to do that it's important. The baby is not solely your job. You're a team. And your health both mentally and physically is really important.

Answer

I took an hour tonight and went grocery shopping and got coffee, came back and he was holding her, talking to her and wouldn't give her back to me !! Even when she started crying he held her until dinner was ready. It's the first time of hopefully many more to come, maybe I finally got through to him.

Answer

I hate to write this as your struggling to get your husband to bond with your baby... But my husband is the complete opposite. He loves being with our daughter. He doesn't say a word if I have an event or need to run to the store. The most important thing you should tell your husband is you will never get this time back. They grow up so quick does he want to look back and regret this? My dad was very involved with me too and he loves being a pop-pop. You have to get through to him he's the dad he should have a strong presence in his baby's life. Good luck I hope things turn around.

Answer

I just started to EBF but even still my husband is never really all about just taking the baby. It kills me because when he does he always seems to be on his phone or playing his game so the baby is just sitting there. It makes me want to cry honestly.

Answer

I don't ask my husband. I tell him. On the weekends, I get dressed and say something like, "I'm going to the gym and then the grocery store. You're on baby duty for next two hours." I'm not breastfeeding, so that certainly makes it easier. But my husband has bonded really well with our son and I think that's partly why.

Answer

My husband is home alone all day with baby. I went back to work before he did because he's a teacher and off for the summer. I pump at work and he feeds her bottles of breast milk while I'm gone. He seems to enjoy it. I'm sorry you're having troubles. I don't think his excuses sound valid.

Answer

Hey I'm ebf as well. I am in the exact same position. I can't do anything that doesn't involve my baby. And I haven't had any alone time either in the last 14 weeks. I find it hard being the only one who can feed him sometimes on night feeds as I ended up with mastitis and in hospital. It was awful, my milk drastically dropped so my baby was back up every hour like a newborn for 2/3 weeks. It was awful! I have quite a few friends who have had babies all around the same time and they have been out for meals and nights out as they are all formula feeding. Their babies are sleeping through as well. My baby bedtime is between 6-7pm which also means I have to be home early if I do go out and I have to go to bed early myself as I'm not sure how many times during the night I'll be getting up so I'm barely spending anytime with my hubby either! Xx

Answer

I'm about to start forcing myself to take more time. After three months I'm starting to lose my mind. I've been without him twice, once for dinner and once for a shopping trip. And when he naps (very rarely during the day) I have about a half hour to try and do laundry or wash dishes. I think that I'm going to start making my so take him for an hour in the evenings because I'm starting to get bitter. My so will take him occasionally but I normally get him back after twenty minutes and he starts crying. I ebf but have frozen storage but my LO just recentl has started refusing every bottle I've given him.. Bad news bears.

Answer

I EBF as well and it seems my husband has the same problem. He does work midnight right now so he sleeps a lot of the day but I hate that I have to tell him to spend time with his daughter! I do get some time out though to myself every now n then. I have to tell him I'm going here or there n she's all yours!

Husband spending time w baby?

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