I feel like a piece of s***

Sorry this post is to help me get out how Im feeling. Im a horrible mother. I had my first baby a month ago, everything was fine until he was about 2 weeks, he slept alot. My boyfriend does not help at all, he doesnt sleep in the bed with me because he says he needs sleep & our dog cries the whole night if hes not with him. He wont do feeds or even relax with him, hes just constantly doing other things. I had a csection and it was so hard for me getting up and down to get the baby. Now hes 4 weeks old and has horrible colic, cries all the time inconsolably. Ive tried everything gas drops, gripe water ,switching formulas ,swaddling, swinging ,pacifiers..the past 2 days ive had a cold and my body hurts so bad and with sleeping only 3 hours a day im just wiped out. Yesterday i asked my boyfriend to watch the baby for 1 hour so i can rest or shower , 10 min later he gives him back to me freaking out saying he cant get him to stop crying and hes so tired. Today my baby would not stop crying and i just started crying too and just yelled at him to please just shut up shut up, i had to leave him crying so i could compose myself..wtf is wrong me?! Hes so little ,why would i yell at him . Why cant i control my anger