I hate everything

I got married to my best friend of 15 years last year, with that came the sacrifice of having to give up my job, leave my family and friends and my home city and move to another country that is 16 hours away (flight). He's a great guy so I had no issues with this. A month after our marriage I got off BC because the doctors told me it will take me a long time to get pregnant due to a condition I had a few years ago and that I will need to seek medical help. Well, they were wrong because I got pregnant right away. I was happy when I found out but shocked as I didn't expect it to happen this quickly. I was still adapting to my new lifestyle with my husband and dealing with the culture shock etc. The first trimester was a disaster for me, I was hospitalized many times due to severe morning sickness then I suffered from a depression because I was lonely and had a tonne of negative thoughts.. My husband is super supportive and understanding, I told him I need to go back home until my labor. I left him in March and he comes to visit me.
I'm due in ten days and the issue I'm having is am not able to connect  with this  baby. I'm so thankful and blessed to be able to get pregnant but sometimes I get negative thoughts again "this baby will get in the way of me being successful in my career" " my life is over I can't travel anymore" and then I start to question everything including my marriage! 
I have to leave back with my husband a few weeks after I deliver and I hate everything about that country.
I don't know what I'm looking for here, I guess I'm just venting.