F

N!!

It's been a little over a year and I think part of me caves and takes a test I know is too early to take because I just want to get the waiting period over and know if it's negative so I can move on and not think about it. TTC has been wonderful - the thoughts and hopes of becoming pregnant and having our first child, but all that hope and want of something preoccupies my thoughts, sometimes I feel not in control, which makes me feel like this isn't the right thing, and our little one will come when ready. I mean it's good to know your cycle, work to achieve it, and make the effort but the trying we all do (planning, tracking, timing..etc) has at the end of it a small failure every time, and I'm starting to run out the cards of hope I have left in my hand. 

...But moving away from this defeatist state of mind, I still hope to have good news soon and for all you ladies out there letting this process stress you to the max..!

..it's not over until AF shows! 🙂