I feel bad about this.. 🙈

So I'm in a relationship with my bf for about  5 years and I've always been in serious relationships. But now that I'm in college and taking classes I'm realizing how I can't experience the college life and I have to avoid things in order to not start an argument. I know that sleeping with randoms isn't as cool as people make it seem but I just don't know how I feel about not knowing. It could just be my body or mind going through a phase but I wish I could lose control some times. 😩😩😩