sex after rape?

Question

This is something I have been thinking about for a while, but I've decided maybe someone here would have some perspective.

I have been sexually assaulted 4 times by 3 different people. I am also recently married to an amazing guy. But because of being raped and how horrific those situations were, sometimes having sex or giving bj's to my husband is extremely difficult or emotionally impossible. I typically manage okay with sex but blow jobs always give me horrible panic attacks. But I know that my husband really would like those things and I would like to get to the point that I can. Does anyone here have any thoughts or personal perspective on these types of situations?
I've been to therapy for years and it has helped with some things but not with others.

Answer

Hi Hun, I have personal experience with this. I have PTSD from being gang raped as a teenager. I married my hubby 2 years ago and we've been together a total of 7 years. We got together 1.5 years after my assault. Our sex life was very hard the first 5.5 years. Sometimes we had good times but a lot of bad times, a lot of our attempts ended in tears, or panic attacks. I was in therapy the whole time and he went with me a lot of times too. For me it just took time, a lot of time, a ton of patience on my husbands part, and a lot of breathing and positive self talk on my part. I'm sorry you have to go through this, it's hard, so hard, but just be patient with yourself and keep trying, keep pushing through those walls! Know that you are not alone and that you are a strong, beautiful, woman warrior! ❤️💖💕💗

Answer

Personally I have horrible panic attacks due to the same issue. Ive worked on it for 8 years. Ive just recently been able to completely loosen up and it took the man im with now to do it. Ive panicked a few times but I just keep going and try to push through it and so far its helped. Everyone deals with everything different. This may not wirk for you and thats ok. Does he know about it?

Answer

I'm not sure about how to handle the blow jobs other than explain to him you need to take you time and go slow maybe even take brakes and just to keep it up stoke it with your hand. 
My bad area was crying after sex. I always had to tell him it wasn't him it was me. (Really it was he was the first guy to be so nice to me and it broke me everytime) but I've gotten better.  I hope this was of some help and not just me rambling.  I wish you the best. 💙

sex after rape?

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