I think I have PPD.

So, I'll give you guys a quick run down. I am 6 months PP. When my daughter, first child, was about three months old, we moved nine hours from my family for a job my husband accepted. Since then, I have struggled to find a job, my husband is struggling with an alcohol addiction, and we're struggling financially, since I can't find a job.

Well, I've been sad pretty much since my daughter was born. Honestly, in the hospital, I didn't want much to do with her. It took me weeks before I became attached to her. (I sound like a horrible mom, I know). Lately, the sadness has gotten worse. I'll think about killing myself, but I instantly snap myself out of it. I never think on that too long, but it's like everytime I get upset, it's lurking in the back of my mind. My marriage is on the rocks because I'm bitter and hold a lot of resentment against my husband. We fight all the time, and I push a lot of blame on him (I know that's bad, I don't need a lecture. I'm working on it).

I'm so tired of living this way. I need to get help, but I don't know where to start. Like, do I call a psychologist or an OBGYN? Do I ask for medication? I just don't know what where to start at.