39+1 and I'm just so devastated...

My SO and I got into a huge fight last week. We are trying to work through it but I've decided to get my own apartment and left it up to him if he wants to come or not. This will be my second child, but he's not the father of my 1st. I'm just so heartbroken and afraid of doing this by myself. We had a great relationship, so I thought, and then his brother began telling him things that weren't true. I just miss him and I thought we both wanted this family together. I never considered more kids until him. He's my penguin. There hasn't been a day that's past that I haven't cried. This just hurts so much... I was so excited to be having our little boy and now this memory of this hard time is making it hard to stay excited.