Relationship issues.. please help if you have been through something similar how did you let go and leave? I have a fear that he will get better once I'm gone and i missed out.

Question

So I'm dating this guy who is younger than me..at first it was good..he expressed his views about how he likes natural beauty and it was cool with me..I wasn't the type of woman that liked to wear make-up ...well fast forwarding I decided hey why not try make up so I started purchasing make-up and it became an issue to where I just stopped in all attempting to even wear color lip balm..well I am currently moving so I had to box up my makeup he became outraged told me I should through my makeup,fingernail polish, jewelry, heels and a lot of my clothes away BC make-up, fingernail polish, jewelry, and heels are for sluts..it's getting to the point that Everytime I make any suggestion for anything it's shut down..he even got all pissy BC I wouldn't let him pay my car off..I really want to get out but Everytime it gets to that point I start to feel empty..what do I do?
Oh yeah he also gave me an ultimatum to get rid of my things or he is gone..I have yet to do that BC they are my things..is it a little excessive? Yes but I spent my hard earned money on my things..ugh
To include I have all these pictures, picture frames all type of things to hang on the wall (to insert I'm black he's white) I even have 2 pics of black women that I hang on the wall...he had the audacity to say black people with their heritage are you from Africa no...your American and blah blah.. in the same day he told me how his ex made him so much happier and when me and him got together and they were still friends but he liked me so he decided to be with me..like it was my fault they were not together.. also says I do everything wrong and he is always irritated with me...freaking crushing
Thank you all for reading all of this..sorry it's so long

Answer

Sweetheart, please get out. That's just the beginning. I was in that type of relationship for almost 3 years.

Answer

I wasn't going to put this out there, but I just have a bad feeling so... Here is my story. When I was 17, my brother committed suicide and I stayed with a best friend of mine. It was okay, then we started dating. He and I were together for almost a year when he became controlling. He told me where I could go, what I could and couldn't wear, who I could talk to, I wasn't allowed to see or talk to my friends or my family, I couldn't wear skirts or shorts or tank tops, I couldn't wear makeup, jewelry, 2 piece bathing suits, or flip flops and heels, I couldn't look up while walking anywhere in case some guy looked at me, I wasn't even allowed to drive my own car, he was a cheater and a liar, then he began being abusive (because I wouldn't sleep with him), and manipulative. One day after almost 3 years together I decided I was tired of his lying, cheating, controlling, and physical abuse. I told him I was leaving at 11pm and I went to the er and found out my nose had been broken along with me having 2 cracked ribs and 38 bruises. He was charged with assault and battery. Four years later, I just celebrated my first wedding anniversary on July 25th with my junior high crush. We started dating a month after getting away from my ex. We're now trying for our 1st baby.

Answer

Get out now. He's controlling. Get out.

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That's ridiculous and extremely controlling. I would be getting out if I could. He's not treating you right at all.

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Why is he telling you what you shouldnt be wearing and telling you to take pictures down??? o_O.. he really has nerve to tell you too throw your things out...smh. and how are heels,jewellery etc etc for sluts??..so his ex's never wore heels and nice clothes and jewels??? 
sorry but hes waayy waayy! too controlling he needs help...  you need too get out of that controlling relationship or at least give him some space.. i mean if he asked you not to wear makeup cause he likes your naturalness than fine. But too tell you to not dress up how you want too  and tell you too throw your ish out is crazy. He needs to chill. 
 Hes immature..he needs some more grownup to do.

If i were you i'd leave and give him space. That must be very depressing and stressful. You need a man not boy..he's acting like a boy.

***GL***

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Soooo many red flags. Get out now. Run!!!! Take everyone's advice. This is not normal behavior.

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He is trying to control you and this is not a healthy way to be. No one should ask you not to be yourself. You should be able to wear what you want, and hang pictures of whatever you want as long as you are respectful of your significant other. And his comments are not appropriate. He sounds immature and closed minded. Ask yourself if you can live with someone like this for the rest of your life. I know it's hard but leave him and don't look back. Find someone who let's you be yourself and is confident enough to accept you as you are. Good luck with everything.

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My ex used to do that i was w him for 5 years and i threw away alot of my makeup, clothes, shoes, (the ones he said were slutty because they were tight fitting or high heels). We broke up now i regret it he took alot from me and i wish i had all my stuff

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My husband hates when I wear heels, I think it because I'm taller but I told him. I was an independent women before we got together and I still am. Im a grown ass women and I'll wear what I want. He laughs says ok babe

Answer

The way he is acting is not healthy or normal. Everyone deserves a healthy relationship. I don't like telling people what to do, but I think it's clear your gut is telling you something isn't right. Lace up those sneakers, girl, and RUN.

Relationship issues.. please help if you have been through something similar how did you let go and leave? I have a fear that he will get better once I'm gone and i missed out.

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