Am i being selfish??!!

Question

Im 24 years old. i have a boyfriend and he makes me the happiest girl ever. BUT theres some things HE WANTS that i dont. and things i want that he doesnt want in a relationship in the future. The thing he wants that i dont want to to have children. I wasnt in a big family. And was practically the only older child growing up by myself so i learned to deal with things on my own. He wants children because hes 25 and has a BIG family than mine. I just dont want children. i dont picture myself having kids. 😧 Another thing he wants that i dont want is a big wedding. He likes weddings and to attend wedding BUT i dont , i was in alot of weddings when i was a kid , the flower girl but im very shy and insecure with myself so i will not be having a big wedding, i just want to get married through court. Anyways with that being said , am i being rude and selfish? Or am i just being me and different ? i dont want what other women have , children. Do you think he will leave me for this ? please answer and no rude opinions. 😪🙏

Answer

Kids is a pretty big deal for most people. I wouldn't be with my fiancé if he didn't want kids since I do very much. Is he willing to give up his dream of being a father to be with you? That's a lot to ask for. Perhaps you should release him to find someone who wants a family and a big wedding. Those are things I don't believe should be sacrificed. It could leave him with a lot of regrets.

Answer

I think you need to be honest with him, and let him decide. It would be a deal breaker for me if my partner wasn't interested in kids, but he might be willing to give it up. I do think hiding it from him is very unfair.

Answer

If you don't want children then don't have them but keep in mind that could very possibly be a deal breaker for him. As for the wedding I think you should learn to be confident and have a nice wedding that suits both of what you want.

Answer

Is perfectly fine to want no children and a small wedding. There's absolutely nothing wrong with either of those things. You and your boyfriend need to have a serious and honest conversation about how important having children is to the both of you. You also need to decide if you're willing to ever have children or not. If wanting/not wanting children is a deal breaker for either of you, you two should figure that out and it might require you to go your separate ways. It wouldn't be fair for him to give up having children if he really wants to just as it wouldn't be right for you to be forced into motherhood. For me having children is a deal breaker and I've always made sure to let anyone I've been involved with know that someday I'd like to be a mother and I've ended relationships before they've even started for that reason

Answer

You are not selfish! It is what you want, so you should be able to do that. Maybe you could compromise on wedding plans but you should not have to have children if you don't want any. I would have a talk about it with him about it. It could possibly be a deal breaker for either of you, but those are important life changing choices and finding someone with those same goals in mind will be better compatible.

Answer

This is something you are both going to have to sit down and talk about and figure out if those are deal breakers or not you can get married without a big over the top weddig with a few close friends and family at a courthouse or church if you want but kids you are really both going to need to talk about if he wants kids but you dont you could resent him or he could resent you either way talk about kids before talking ablut marriage

Answer

He might leave u who knows.  The best thing yall need to do is set down and talk about what yall want outta yalls relationship

Am i being selfish??!!

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