I think we've been doing it wrong

We've been Ttc for 2 years. I have pcos and hubby has delayed ejaculation most of the time. The first time we had sex it was painful for me. We started seeing RE and vaginal ultrasounds are painful for me. So RE suggested to practice with a toy. I've been practicing with it and realized it is so different than having sex. We've been doing it wrong all this time. I have tightened my cervix due to fear and he never went deep inside and just ejaculated at the mouth of the vagina. Any how we have decided to move to iui and I have over come my fear of inserting inside with the help of the toy. Hope we get the result with iui.