When are you having a baby... over and over again.

Question

Yesterday my hubby and I went to a birthday party for our flower girl. Of that group of friends we are the only ones who don't have a child. I think we got asked when we were having a baby or told we were next 15 times in 3 hours. I know they all mean well and have no idea what's going on but a girl can only hear that so many times. I finally just had to go off and play with a ballon with my 1 yr old nephew.

Answer

The "you're next" line really makes me want to go off on people lol like please don't say that as a consolation after someone just had their accidental pregnancy. These people who say this don't know the situation im in so I can't blame them toooo much. But really...we've been trying for 4 years...if there's no baby yet maybe they can put two and two together and realize wow some people have difficulty having a baby. I mean who knew it could take more than just sleeping around with whoever they want and have an ooopsie baby. Wow rant over! Whew I needed this! I don't even think thiscomment  will be helpful 😑sorry

Answer

We've been married for almost 3 years and lived together for 10 years before that. This exact scenario is what we deal with ALL the time too. I can't tell people enough that we trust in God's plans and are confident that if He intends us to have children we will. It usually shuts them up but sometimes we still get "but don't you want them"... "no" should be the answer just to get them to go away but I just reiterate that only God knows what is best for us. Meanwhile in private we're taking clomid but they will not find that out unless it works because they would think that's their business too.

Answer

I know how you feel. I stared to wear A line dresses since they are becoming popular and also to hide the bloating from IVF meds and people come to me and say finally your going to have a baby or "what's new? While starring at my belly" it's definately annoying but I respond I am not pregnant and only God know when I will be. After that they walk away or they change the subject. ❤️🙏🏻

Answer

Omg I hear you!  I haven't told any of my family that we're using fertility treatments. Not even my mom... I guess I want her to both not worry and also be surprised if it does happen.  I'm a nurse and so I get asked at least once a shift if I have kids and why not?  My own grandma said on the phone last week in earshot of my mom "well, I guess your mom is NEVER going to be a grandma *sigh*." Ohhhh grandma. It's so frustrating EVERY month.  I almost want to buy stock in home pregnancy tests after the amount of money we've spent on them the past couple years.  I've been looking more and more into adoption though.  I am meant to be a mom in one way or another.

Answer

I know people mean well but they also need to understand it's a very loaded and emotional question for lots of people. I know people don't mean to cause harm when they ask that question but they do! I'm sorry you had to go through that. Good on you for walking away! I'm sure you had more fun with your nephew anyway.

Everyone is different in the way the like to deal with questions like that. I personally make comments like, 'no it's not that easy for us' or just tell them straight up what's going on. I found it was like a weight lifted off my shoulders when I started talking about it, that now I just tell anyone who thinks they're close enough to ask such a personal question our story, and tell them because of it, it's hard hearing those questions all of the time. I hope my honesty stops them asking me again and stops them from asking others, especially those feeling fragile about the whole thing.

Answer

Oh, Ashton, I am so sorry! That is seriously the worst, or when they do know and they make weird comments. Keep your head up, well get our well deserved babies soon!!! I am sure your nephew loved the time you spent playing with him, you'll be a great momma!

Answer

I understand. That question used to hurt more than it does now. Once my dad reminded me that after you have one they will ask about #2, after you have #3 they will ask why you are having another and if you know how that happens. People don't think before the ask. Some people mean well and are hopeful and trying to make conversation. Others are rude and can't get a message when to stop. We are with you! So sorry.

Answer

I totally understand. We have been married for 4 years and have lost 3 pregnancies. It's not something we share with a lot of people, so it's really hard when we are constantly being asked when we are having our own. We have to go through IVF, and it's really expensive!! It's getting harder now because his younger sister, who's been married for 2 years is in the hospital at this moment giving birth to her first. So many people are asking why we don't have any kids and his sister is already having one. It's so hard because we don't like to share a lot of our personal struggle, but often times we are made to share because people won't stop. Getting pregnant isn't always easy, and I wish people would understand that. I'm sorry that you have to go through this. Try to stay positive, and you will get through it. Sending hugs and positive thoughts.

When are you having a baby... over and over again.

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