This is honestly something that should have been discussed prior to marriage. You don't want him to be resentful towards you if he never had any idea this was your intention. If this was something that was never openly discussed then you may need to compromise. Maybe take 6 months off work rather than completely quit working. Having been the sole provider in my prior marriage, it is hard. We were fine financially, that wasn't the problem. But sometimes it does feel unfair. Sometimes I had irrational worries that if something happened to me, my husband and daughter wouldn't be OK. Don't get me wrong, I had excellent benefits, life insurance, etc. But did I want my whole life to be the sole provider? No. I was in a horrible accident and on disability for almost 3 months. I realized the, life insurance would have only held them over for a few years, my husband had been out of the work force for 7 years. It wouldn't be easy for him to just get a job after coping. You aren't being selfish. I wish everyday I could be a stay at home mom. Try to keep an open mind and put yourself in his position. What if he'd like to be a stay at home dad? You make about the same, so you'd be alright, right? How would you feel? Compromise is key.
I want to be a stay at home mom
Currently my husband and I both work. We both bring in the same amount of income and we do ok. I'm a lot better with money and I have a savings account but he actually just paid off his $18k debt in credit cards. I'm 14 weeks pregnant and I have communicated to him that I want to be a stay at home mom. He doesn't really seem to be on board with that. He says its a lot of pressure on him and that I should continue to work and take the baby to work with me (I would be able to do that since I'm a nanny) however I don't want to be watching someone else's children and my own also. We could definitely get by on his income alone but I think he feels it's not fair. I'm getting a little resentful of him not wanting to provide for us while I raise our kid and keep the house tidy. Am I being unreasonable? I've been hormonal so I'm not sure who's right in this situation.
Edit- we had discussed me being a stay at home mom before getting married, we have been together 11 years. Also, he does not help out with housework so on top of me working, I will be in charge of housework and probably buying all things baby. He's a great husband and attentive to me but when he gets home from home he likes to just sit and watch tv. He doesn't have a physically demanding job. He works at an office.
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