What would you do different?

Opinions... so I've had 3 relationships my whole life. My last 2 was abusive, physically, emotionally, and verbally. I was always called fat, disgusting, ugly, lazy,and a bunch of other stuff. The man I got now isn't that way... unless he gets mad. When he gets mad he'll day stuff like I'm a bad mother, I'm lazy, etc. He's called me lazy, a fat ass, stupid ass and a bitch. Then he apologizes for it and says he didn't mean it and only said it bc he was mad. My self esteem is so shot that I don't even want to look in the mirror. I cry over the way I look all the time. The photo is me. Is there anything that you all could recommend that I do that would improve myself? I'm in the process of losing weight but I'm not being very successful with it due to pcos and hypothyroidism. Any advice is appreciated.