Tired of trying and not trying

2 years ago my husband and I miscarried. Hard for me to admit and I still get upset about it. My period is 11 days late and I started bleeding this morning. Unsure whether to even test or not. I went back to my room crying because I've had all signs of pregnancy. It's hard for me because he is the one who has 2 kids...I don't have any of my own. How do you keep wanting to try but after so many months of trying, feel like it will never happen? He said he didn't marry me to just have kids and I know that, it's just a hard blow when you keep trying only to never achieve your goal.