I know many of you are already bashing me, saying porn is normal and nothing to worry about. I've suffered with self esteem issues for years and I don't know what to do about it. Last night, me and my boyfriend took a bath together and played around then had sex in bed afterwards. It was, in my opinion, one of the most amazing times we've ever had. I was fully satisfied and I thought he was too. I woke up this morning happy and we both left for school. I sent a text at one point asking him not to masterbate today because I wanted to have a repeat of last night. When I got home he was playing Xbox and after a while I checked his history on his phone and sure enough "stunning teen gets fucked" and many more were staring back at me. They were from this morning while I was at school and he was at home by himself. I literally will never be good enough no matter how hard I try. We've broken up before but he always begs me to come back because he needs me or whatever. Is it possible for him to love me and not be attracted to me at all? I feel like he just masterbates using my body when we have sex. It never lasts long and sometimes I don't even finish. I'm almost positive he thinks of those beautiful girls from porn when he's fucking me. Am I crazy? Am I hopeless?