this just break my heart even more ...
This morning when i wipe after i pee, there was a big snog of blood. I look into the toilet, blood everywhere. But i have no pain, just slight cramping but nothing much. Immediately call the doc, went to the doc office 3 hrs later. During that 3 hrs, went to pee twice, wiped and there was no blood. I didnt have to put a pad on cause there was no blood coming out or dripping out. Got to the doc, did an examination n she said there was a lot of blood. Seems like a miscarriage. But she wanted to also take blood test to check on my hcg level ... Here i am at home .. Wishing and hoping i will find out the result sooner so this emotional pain can just go away...
Tonight after dinner, my 4 yr old son asked me.."mom, how's you and the baby inside?"... I couldnt hold it anymore... I hug him and cry my eyes out... And i had to break the news to him. I told him mommy is losing the baby... I am so sorry. Immediately, my son cry so hard n keep telling me he dont want to lose the baby... This break my heart so bad... He wanted a sibiling so bad...once he stopped crying, he look at me and said.."mom! You have to eat more so ur stomach will grow and the baby will be there. Mom theres no baby in your stomach today, but tomorrow you keep eating and the baby will be there !" If only things were that easy... Please pray for me and hope blood test turn out to be positive...
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