Do not read if you are pro-life...

Question

No negative comments please. Over a year ago (July 2015) I had an abortion (I have my reasons as to why I did it. It wasn't because I just simply "didn't want it"... there's a lot to the story) I'm still greiving HORRIBLY about it. I cry about it all the time still. Has anyone else here had an abortion and have any advice of how to get through this? It's hard to open up to anyone about it because it's such a controversial subject. I've had people say extremely hurtful things to me about it so I'm scared to even talk to anyone about it at all. It is literally consuming my life. To top it off the father of the child who is also my boyfriend (probably soon to be ex boyfriend) calls me a "baby killer" even though he said he would be by my side no matter what. I regret having the abortion I feel bad for what I've done but at the same time I know it was best. Even though I know it was best, I can't seem to move on.

Answer

Rachel's Vineyard is meant to be super helpful for women struggling after their abortions. They offer weekend retreats that focus on mental and emotional healing.  rachelsvineyard.org

There's also hopeafterabortion.com. They have a lot of online resources for coping with post-abortive side effects.

I hope this helps! Just know that you are a unique individual, and you are not defined by the choice you made. Keep your chin up.

Answer

Therapy is the only way to get through it. I've come to terms with my decision because I knew 100% I could not give my child the life it deserves and call me selfish but I couldn't have given my child away for adoption. It is hard but you cannot dwell on the past, nothing can change the situation and you just have to get some help x

Answer

The place where you had your procedure should have counsellors/therapists that specializes in these kind of situations. I highly recommend talking to them or finding another therapist to help you.

Answer

*hugs* Have you tried talking to a therapist about it?

Answer

Oh girl I'm here for you!!! I had an abortion two years ago April. I'm now 3 weeks away from delivering my daughter. I tell almost no1 because people judge. I hated myself forever sometimes I still do and I fear something might go wrong in my labor now because I killed a baby ... My best advice to you is, love yourself.... You made the best choice for you at that time, maybe now it doesn't feel that way but I always respect a woman who aborts a baby who wasn't wanted. I have a four year old son, his father never wanted him and man do I love him... He's perfect but someday his Little hearts going to break when he finds out my husband isn't his biological father and that his bio dad want literally nothing to do with him. Should I aborted him? Idk he's here he's a person... The baby I aborted would of been his blood same mom same dad (his father raped me on a visitation that's why he doesn't see our son) I just know I made the best choice I could for my son and myself in that moment!!! And you did too! I'm now happy married and ready for this baby I'm carrying.... Do I still cry and think about my abortion, I do... But I remind myself every thing happened for a reason and I made the best choice in the moment.... Be proud of yourself but don't make it a  habit, I know girls who use abortion as birth control... Never get pregnant until you want the baby, learn from your experience!!! Love yourself, your not evil!

Answer

Sounds like you may need some therapy to help move on.

Answer

Oh dear he is not helping at all!
I think first thing to do is to ignore him! You don't need to hear those terrible words. Is not that simple as he thinks!

Do you have time / option to take some time off? Travel away from that place, maybe helps
Though 1 year down the line is pretty long time
Maybe speak to your GP about it. You may need some councelling. 
Whatever happenned- you cant go back in time
Please do not let this to consume you
Your future babies will get all your love and atention if you move on! 
😘

Answer

Honestly .. time.. this November will be 8 years since I had mine. I've come more to peace with it in the last 3 or so. It never really goes away nor do you really move on.. I get very gloomy around the date...Like I said you find some peace to it but it's always gonna be there. Stay away from the ex , he will do nothing but make it worse if that is the way he's behaving. You need to stay away from someone who brings on guilt. And makes you feel more horrible. Cutting my ex out was the best thing. I was able to heal and come to terms .. and his behavior reminded me why I decided to go with it.

Answer

I had an abortion about 4 years ago, and am currently 21 weeks with my daughter. People will judge all the time, but only the person making the decision will know if it's the right one. I still feel bad about mine but I know that child is better off, I had just had my son two months before, and his father took off, so I knew a single mom working two jobs could not adaqutly care for two young children. I refused to let either of my babies suffer because of my mistake with their father. People will always judge us, but u til they have to make this decision themselves they will never understand! Keep your head up Hun, if you m ow you made the best choice then others opinions don't matter.

Answer

Well first get away from your boyfriend coz that is absolutely awful for him to say that to you.. second, after I had an abortion and it took me over a year to get over it. But I did get over it and I’m soo happy I didn’t keep it. Try to remember that you thought it through and came to that decision for a reason and feeling some regret doesn’t mean it was the wrong decision

Do not read if you are pro-life...

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