Am I over reacting?

Question

So I've been feeling really ignored by my fiance lately. All he does is play video games, watch netflix, or go over to his friends house. ( keep in mind we live together) I've told him again and again I want more affection like kisses cuddling and hugs but he either says he'll try harder or he'll start arguing about how he already does it and how I'm always talking about this. Well if I'm always talking about this then you haven't fixed the problem. I just don't know how to make him realize this. I'm getting really depressed and I haven't cut in a long time but I feel like I might. ( I'm aware it won't really help so don't lecture me on this) advice?
EDIT: if your gonna try to turn this around on me don't even comment. There is nothing wrong with asking for help. That's why this site was made. So don't be a Katey 😊✌

Answer

Maybe there's a reason he is acting this way. Perhaps ask him about his feelings instead of always just bringing up yours.

Answer

I guess the first thing to address would be how are you going about letting him know what you want? Are you telling him that he's not being affectionate enough? I don't want to assume how you went about this, so that's why am throwing this in here. You always have a better chance of getting what you want if you approach it from the angle of how you feel and what you need. So like, "i am feeling really hurt and unloved, it would really help me to feel more loved if you could provide some extra affection." Anyway, if you have approached it that way and still are not seeing any results, I would highly recommend starting couples counseling ASAP. He has to want to put some effort into this. Unfortunately, you really can't make him do that, but I think that hearing it in counseling could get him thinking more about that. If he wants a happy life with a happy wife, he needs to put effort into the relationship. The five love languages is also a great suggestion, the thing is if he's not willing to put in the effort, nothing is going to help. But, he may just have a different way of showing affection to you which The book can help explain and possibly come to an understanding about so that you can accept him easier instead of pulling teeth to try to get him to be somebody that he's not.

Answer

Maybe just join in! I understand if you don't game it may not be fun at first but it could be a good way to meet him where he is.

Answer

I can understand where you are coming from. My husband is similar with gaming and tv. There are times when I just feel the need for pyshical contact- hug, a back rub, a touch. After talking about it a few times, I found out to him hugging me or touching me is a lead in to sex. So if he's not in the mood- he's just not going to be affectionate. Since I see it differently... A bond, a connection, that I exist and someone cares. I told him that I would ask for what I need instead of assuming he would notice that I need a moment of affection. Since then he has gotten better at recognizing situations that make me need that extra affection. Tonight though he didn't notice and I didn't ask - so I'm partly to blame for feeling pretty crappy right now and not being able to sleep. Definitely the conversation I needed to come across tonight!

Am I over reacting?

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