My feelings on early delivery...

I've been posting a lot in recent weeks about all the misery I've gone through during the 3rd trimester.  All the pain and discomfort which could be very severe at times and the fact that I wasn't sleeping at all and was going nuts feeling awful like I just wanted it to be over.  Was actually hoping to deliver more like 38 weeks cause I couldn't imagine going to 40.  Then last Sunday at 3 am my water broke and by 9 am I was holding my baby girl.  I was 35 + 4 and she came out weighing 5 lbs 6 oz.  Luckily I delivered at a hospital with a highly equipped neonatal unit, but it was sooooo hard to see her subjected to all sorts of tests they wouldn't have to do on a full term newborn.  They were coming in every 3 hrs to prick her foot to test blood levels, and that's hard on a new mama to witness over and over.  They had to put her through stress tests to see if she was strong enough to ride home in her car seat, etc.  And to top it off all newborns loose weight before gaining again, so now she weighs in the high 4s which is seriously so small when I look at her I want to cry.  Little one is super strong for her size and passed all her tests at the hospital and we were discharged on Tuesday, but now all I can think is I'm so sorry my body didn't hang on longer.  Looking at her now that she's here, I would've done anything to carry her to term and let her get stronger.  And trust me I was miserable did NOT want to be pregnant anymore.  Now I love her so much and I'm so worried about her my whole perspective has changed.  Like 180.  Just wanted to share with all the mom's who are having a hard time towards the end just wishing for it to be over.  Hang on as long as you can cause it's actually not that great for baby to come early.