My story..
When I was 5, my older cousin would touch me, he never fully did anything. My father knew and did nothing. I was depressed, suicidal, and just alone for most of my life. My family always laughed about how I was "Anti-social" what they didn't know, was that I was terrified. I hated everyone. I wanted to scream every moment of every day. Overall, I was alone. At the age of 14, my older brother who was 26, raped me. I confessed 2 weeks later. I went to a grand jury, but yet all he served was 6 months in jail, he wasn't even charged with rape. There was proof! He admitted it! Even then, no one asked if I was okay. No one cared. I tried to kill myself.. i left school because i was so scared of every guy that walked by. My father still didn't care. That was his son. Turns out, he raped multiple people in my family. My father knew all along! Yet he still let me around.. my hero, the one who promised to protect me, turned out to subject me to danger. His baby girl..
3 years later my now husbands best friend raped me. I never reported it, there was no point. I watched my husband continue to be his bestfriend, it hurt so bad. A few months ago I finally confessed to my husband. He didn't believe me, he screamed at me, called me a liar. He apologized later but to this day it has not been brought up. He hasn't talked to him but he has said that he misses him. You would think he'd want to go after him but.. i guess not. I also told my mom that day too, she didn't ask if i was okay, if i wanted to report it, anything.
I feel so alone, hell, i feel worthless. Nobody cares. I don't have to money for counseling. I have a daughter and im 15 weeks pregnant. I have thought about killing myself so much the past few weeks but of course i wont because of my babies. I just dont know what to do, how to get help.
I have never told the entire story so.. here it is.
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