Instagram, Social Anxiety and Depression
I've been off and on Instagram for the last 4 years. I dreamed of gaining followers, an audience. People who this awkward yet lovable introvert could turn to, like so many popular "insta famous" personalities. I could follow my dreams of being "discovered" and modeling or makeup artistry.
Sadly, I have extremely little to show for it. My follower number constantly waxes and wanes. I've tried almost every trick in the book, to no avail. The very few active individuals who do follow me, compliment my makeup skills, I can't help but feel I'm just wasting my time and people only like or comment in solidarity or worse, have a creepy ulterior motive.
I want to fit in somehow, someway, somewhere. I can't help but feel I'm talentless, boring and wasted youth. I hate feeling this way and each day I wake up with fresh eyes and try to stay optimistic but I let myself down. I just want my time, my fun, my "15 minutes" if you will. And friends, boy to have a friend that sticks by my side... Last time I had a good friend was when I was 11. I'm 23 now.
I apologize to anyone who has read this thus far. I just really needed to get that off my chest.
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