Struggling

I don't know what to do. I can't deal with my nine month old. She will cry if I have to leave the room for two seconds. My husband had to order me food today for lunch because I couldn't leave the room to make lunch and I don't feel comfortable holding her when I cook. She still won't sleep in her own bed so the chances of alone time with my husband are very slim which means my marriage is suffering. Today is my off day and I should be happy but instead I'm wishing I was at work. I end up yelling at her, sometimes cursing, and then crying because I absolutely hate myself. I'm a terrible mother and I'm going to screw her up. I love my daughter, don't get me wrong but the constant screaming and crying and being all over me just drives me crazy. I just want to pack my shit and leave. Like right now, she is screaming bloody murder because I won't let her play with the string on my pjs. I'm trying to be patient but she's hurting my head and I just can't take it anymore. I just want her to take a long nap until my husband gets home so I can lock myself in the bathroom and cry.