love..

My ex boyfriend and I broke up years ago. I still love him. He was my first true love. We grew up together and in elementary he was my crush. It was surreal when we actually started dating..It wasn't really a bad break up but I don't feel I ever got the closure I needed. I was upset for like a year but left him alone for the most part and tried to move on. Several years later we haven't talked much..he has a new girlfriend and I would say I still have love for him...but the type of love where I'm happy for him in his new relationship. Sure, I wish it were me. But I don't find myself hating this girl or being jealous about her like other people would be. I find myself hoping he's happy, despite him hurting me...Isn't this weird? What does this even mean? I see other girls who go through break ups and absolutely hate and trash talk their exes new girlfriends (which there's nothing wrong with..those are normal feelings) but for as much as I was in love with him I just oddly don't find myself wanting to do that or hating her.