I'm terrified

Hey girls, glad the ban went well and everyone is back. I might be leaving glow for a time, I'm not sure. I suffer from mental illness and I had been in remission for years. Unfortunately between my health issues last month, being on pain meds, and being faced with possible homelessness again, my mental health is deteriorating. I am feeling very scared right now. I hadn't had an episode my entire relationship with my SO, now he's waking up at night asking me if I'm ok. I'm not ok. I don't know how bad I'll get this time, I don't know how long this will last, I don't know how much I'll lose, will I come out of this as the same person I am now? Thanks to all the ladies who are here trying to make this a better place by calling out ignorance. Thanks to the ladies who try to educate others even though it's not your job. It's been a pleasure.