Depression over husband

Honestly I'm crying every night that it didn't work out with my husband. What hurts the most is knowing I love him more than he will ever love me. I feel like I'm alone. I'm living with my family atm. I had a bad upbringing and if it wasn't for me being pregnant right now lord only knows what I'd do.

I really just want all these thoughts and memories to go, the abuse I went through. The guilt I'm being made to feel for leaving. Everything.

No one has shown me proper love. I'm facing this alone.

I'm so upset 😢😢 I just wanted to be happy and have a family. Not to be treated like that and be made to sponge off the government ... Which I don't even know I'll be able to do cause of their rules.

What do I do? 😕