Surprise pregnancy feelings

I need to vent and possibly hear that I'm not a terrible person and that all will be fine. I've been happily married to the love of my life for 10 years and we have 2 amazing kids (ages 7 and 8, almost 9). I've been pretty set on being done having babies. Just the thought of bringing another baby home gave me anxiety, but hubby has had baby fever for a few years now. I wasn't caving though. This past April, I was blown away by a positive test. Apparently, hubby and I weren't careful enough one night. He, and our kiddos, couldn't be happier to welcome a new little one. I'm trying so hard, but really struggling to get excited. And there's such a mix of emotions. I go from, 'holy cow! I don't want to do this again.' to instantly feeling guilty because there are so many women who would give anything to grow their own tiny human but can't. My marriage is solid, we're financially stable, I just can't shake the feeling of dread. Has anyone ever felt like this? Do you think the anxiety will go away when he's finally here?